Apocalypso
Maniacal Musings For a Society Gone Over the Edge

Shut Your Fox Hole Bill O’Reilly

I watch a lot of news, and the more I watch, the more I miss Ireland. Allow me to explain; up until the last few years on the main Irish TV network (RTE), they would play old MGM cartoons as soon as the news was over. I used to love that, it’s like they were saying, “but enough o’ dat morbid shite, here’s Tom and Jerry !!!” Unfortunately, they no longer provide this humanitarian resource on Irish television, but it was a highly innovative social service that I believe should be made compulsory throughout the world. After airing any news, anywhere around the globe, there should be a mandatory screening of good, old-fashioned MGM cartoon craziness! Just think about how fitting it would’ve been after George Dubya got “re-elected” if CNN, MSNBC, Fox News and all the rest of them had been forced to play Droopy cartoons for the next 24 hours! Because Droopy’s sad and funny, just like our election process. Although at this point it is leaning a lot more heavily in the sad direction. But that just means that we need that quirky little blood hound now more than ever!!!

Anyway, since we’re on the subject of news, I think I’ve hit upon a more fair and balanced slogan for FOX News: Mercilessly Maintaining the Fiction. It’s got a certain ring to it, doesn’t it? I like it, but I’ll tell you something I don’t like, in fact it’s something I detest, and that is when FOX News periodically devotes an exclusive news story to some teenage Republican who has started up his own conservative news letter at his high school. Invariably, this goofy little prick will complain about the liberal bias that he suffers from at the hands of his peers.

That’s like the Fox News Network’s wet dream come true: teenage republicans. And they depict these pimply little pompous pinheads as some kind of heroic rebels unfairly suffering from some phantom liberal bias at their high school. I’m sorry to break the news to you folks, but it’s not a liberal bias that they suffer from; it’s a fucking geek bias!!! They’re nerds. But they’d get better treatment if they were plain old D and D geeks or Trekkies, you can bet your ass on that!

That’s the real reason these little shmucks get picked on – what kind of normal kid wants to talk about the Voo-Doo economics of the Reagan Administration?!? It’s like these kids were never kids. It’s like their mothers gave birth to 45 year-olds for fuck’s sake! These congenital dorks were listening to Rush Limbaugh when they should’ve been watching Sesame Street, and those bastards at Fox News encourage this horse shit because there’s nothing they’d like better than a nation full of little Alex P. Keaton clones! Argyle sweaters and socks, neck ties and copies of The Wall Street Journal tucked underneath their arms. Fuck that shit!

I’d like to get back to the notion of a liberal bias, particularly a liberal media bias, which is what those fuck-holes on FOX are always blathering about. How many people really believe that there’s a liberal media bias in America? If anything there’s a conservative media bias, and that was going on way before FOX News came along. If there really were a liberal media bias, wouldn’t the majority of news channels be shrieking for the impeachment of George Dubya? They were all shrieking about impeaching Clinton when he lied about that blow-job, yet Bush lied his ass off about the case for war in Iraq and none of them say a fucking word about that. Perhaps I’m way off base here, but the last time I checked, blow-jobs didn’t indiscriminately annihilate vast numbers of people.

In closing, if I want to see Bill O’ Reilly’s tongue get cut off with a pair of garden shears, does that mean I have a liberal media bias?

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7 Responses to “Shut Your Fox Hole Bill O’Reilly”

  1. I’m with you all the way. But would it mean I have an age bias if I told you that dude, your font size is too small.

  2. I think there is really a “sensationalism” bias in the media. And I fully agree that the misguided hysteria in the media about a b/j proves there is no “investigational” media remaining. Why wasn’t there a “Woodward and Berstein” around when Dubya mainipulated the so called intelligence to drive the congress to vote for this foolish war?

    And as for fox….well, news it ain’t.

    Great post. Thanks

  3. I was under the impression the Bill was the cartoon after the news.

  4. If you’re interested in a liberal media bias, check out The Ed Schultz Show or Air America Radio. (I don’t listen to either anymore because I’m trying to get less bias. Hey remember when Jack Abramoff was a teenager? I think he was introduced at some Ronald Regan event or maybe it was an RNC around that time. He was dirty for America, but great for the Democratic Party. It’s too bad Barack Obama decided the best way to unify the Dems was to request people’s aid in paying off Senator Clinton’s campaign debts. She chose to run and chose to borrow the money. There are millions of people borrowing money for food and gas; I’d like to see a request made by a major political candidate to pay all those people back, and have their exorbitant interest canceled and rebated.

  5. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  6. Your blog is interesting!

    Keep up the good work!

  7. piss on o’riley and the mule he rode in on.that goes for all the low line 1q assholes at fox loosers
    Go To The Voting Booth,
    John


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