Maniacal Musings For a Society Gone Over the Edge

Puppy Killers and Mini Suicide Bombers

A few months ago I watched an indignant report on the news about a video that was posted on youtube which depicted an American Marine allegedly throwing a puppy off of a cliff in Iraq. A Marine spokesman gave a press conference about it in which he announced that cruelty to animals is unacceptable to the U.S. Marine Corps. Someone alert the irony police, quickly! Killing a puppy is a vile and heinous act…killing humans? Not so much. Come on, I love animals as much as the next person, but human beings have been getting maimed and collaterally damaged on a daily basis over there for 6 fucking years! Including babies for Christ’s sake! But they’re the enemy, right? Puppies aren’t suicide bombers goddamnit! True, but neither are toddlers, sport. Remember, you need to know your ABC’s before you can spell Al-Qaeda, never mind join the bastards. Call me a cynic, but I don’t think we’re going to be hearing about any infant suicide bombers any time soon, but imagine if we did:

“Even though his brain wasn’t fully formed, little Achmed was seemingly born with hatred in his heart. How else do we explain the fact that yesterday morning, as he fed from his mother’s bosom, he suddenly broke free from the breast, strapped on a diaper loaded with dynamite, back-flipped off the balcony and landed in a crowded market-place where he blew his little ass to kingdom come, killing 15 shoppers and wounding a further 32.”

That little news report would be the immediate precursor to Armageddon folks. If you ever hear that shit, break out your plastic sheeting and duct tape, strap on your gas mask and start talking in tongues, because the time is nigh, the end is near and you’d better get down on your knees and do the funky Alphonso, because we’re fucked!

I still can’t get over the feigned shock in regard to the killing of a puppy though. The Marines are trained to be heartless killing machines, yet the cruel and unusual death of a domestic animal at the hands of a Marine caused a wave of outrage.

“How could he have committed such a savage act?”

Maybe that’s why THEY “hate us”. Maybe THEY don’t hate our freedom… maybe THEY hate our hypocrisy, our greed, and our selfishness.

WE want the oil, WE need the oil, and WE are going to take your fucking oil, kill your fucking people and make up a bunch of horseshit about spreading democracy in order to get it!”

If spreading democracy were such a big concern, how come our government hasn’t stopped the atrocities in Sudan or Burma? Not to mention countless other places around the globe where brutal barbarity is a daily occurrence, but supposedly we’re a Christian nation. Yeah right, Christian in name only. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but try and remember that “Thou shalt not kill” wasn’t just intended for puppies. Talk about Revelations !!!

” You mean Kaliel has as much of a right to live as Fi-Fi? Who could have known?!?”

Speaking of revelations, I think THEY understand Us, a lot more than WE understand THEM, and here’s why: I was in Detroit back in February of this year, and I spent some of my time in a place on the outskirts of Detroit called Dearborn, which just so happens to have the largest community of Arabs in the United States. Now, while I was there I visited several liquor stores, all of which were run by Arabs. What struck me most about those trips to the liquor stores was the fact that some of them were selling statues of Jesus and The Virgin Mary right alongside hardcore porn films on DVD! Tell me THEY don’t understand US! They’re catering to our addictions, perversions and guilt all in one fell swoop! You can buy your booze, your Christian trinket and your brand-spanking new copy of Alice In Anal-land, go home, stick on the flick, drink your booze, pull your plum, and when you feel the overwhelming guilt 1.5 seconds after orgasm, you can drunkenly whip out your statue of Jesus, fall to your knees and beg for his forgiveness. I think they understand us.


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